Crazy week.

It's been an odd week. I've had so many emotions going on. I haven't had any alcohol since the beginning of May, and no coffee, almost just as long. I love what I'm doing, at Oddball, but miss being behind a camera. I feel like I lost things, I worry I will never get back. It's funny that even though I am doing well with a job and stuff, that I am still not really happy. Don't get me wrong, I'm not depressed or anything, I don't think. It's just as a person I am missing things. Things I had, messed up, and lost. But I realize that I was much happier with them, even if it was difficult at times. It didn't matter to me.

Los Angeles has had it's up's and down's. Sometimes I wonder what we are all doing out here, and if what we are doing is really helping us in the long run. Probably. But who knows. I love VFX, but my passion is camera. Am I messing up by doing something just or money that isn't my passion?

I didn't think I would say this, but I miss Tallahassee. There is a fair bit of charm there, not sure from what, it's probably just nostalgic memories. I'v just been in a weird mood lately. And I know it's not from some other substance acting on my behalf. I need to create more. Shoot more. Do more. Give up a good job with money for nothing? It's a hard choice to make. Not one that I'm ready to do.